If you are a Mom, we have all been there. Like I have said in previous post being a mom is what I waited for my whole life. Growing up no one teaches the basics of being a mom, and I don’t even remember a class in school about it. HAHA All moms love their children, but we do not have to like them all the time. Children can be a handful, and they are definitely a full time job. Even if you are a SAH mom, that can be so exhausting. I work full time, but I stayed home with Vera for the first year. The stereotype is that we sit around eating bon bons, nap, shop, and just do whatever we enjoy doing. This is so WRONG. I give props for SAH moms, but I give myself props, now, for being a single mother to 2 and working full time for so long. A Mother’s job never ends. We start in the morning, and sometimes have to work through the night. We do not get sick days, paid vacations, or time off with this job. Although, we do have to take time for ourselves. If we do not take care of our mental, physical, and emotional health then how are we going to raise our kids. That gets me to my 5 ways to see if you are a burnout mom. If you are some, most, or even all of these, then you need to take a step back and re-evaluate yourself. IMMEDIATELY!
- Sort tempered/ snapping at your children or spouse: Do you find yourself snapping at your children’s smallest mess ups, or being very short with your spouse. I am sure all mothers have been here and if say you haven’t, well I am calling you a liar. When our temper starts to get short and it last longer than a day or so, you need to step back and breathe. There are times a mommy needs a time out. No one wants to be around an irritable person all the time. Go in your room for 5 minutes and re-collect yourself. My 10 yr old will be quick to tell me, if I stay short tempered with him, Mom why are you so ill today? It makes me step back and re-evaluate myself.
- Tired: Are you more tired than usual? Do you find yourself wanting to sleep more? There are moms who try to do it all on their own, and really that isn’t logical. It takes a village to raise kids. I have been a single mother for so long, and I can tell you I have not done it all on my own. Mother’s need to make sure they are getting their right amount of sleep every night, as well. If you are a new mom, I say nap when the baby naps. Sleep is very important part of staying healthy. Developing a schedule for your household is important to keep everyone on track from the beginning of the day to the end.
- No Motivation: This can fall into the TIRED section, but I wanted to hit on a few points. When we get caught up on life and raising kids we lose track of ourselves. Moms tend to lose motivation because we are not taking time for ourselves. Clothes start to pile up, dishes are not washed, you stop cooking supper, and you just are not being a productive mother. I am not saying you are burn out if you let the laundry pile up a few days, because we have all been there. I hate laundry, but it has to be done. If you are waking up in the morning dreading the day, well like I said before, you need to reevaluate your life.
- Losing Self love: I have seen it a lot with ladies. They have children and just let themselves go. They do not care about their physical appearance and use the excuse, “Well I have kids now” or “I am a mom now” LADIES, NOOOO If you do not love and take care of your self, how can you instill love into your children. You have to take care of your mind, body, and soul. I am going to step into my love for fitness in this explanation. Mother’s who do not take care of their body, in my opinion, are not giving the best to yourself or your children. (and spouse) A little bit of exercise can not only help with your body but increases so much happy endorphins in your brain. In my experience, you have to love yourself to fully love anyone else. I am not saying you do not love your children or your spouse, but the time you sit and think about all the things you don’t love about yourself could be the time you are giving your children or teaching them how to love themselves.
- Canceling plans with friends: All moms and dad need time away. If it is only a few hours, they need to have time away from the house. When I had Vera I use to hate leaving her. I never wanted to go out with friends or even my husband. This is crucial because all moms need time outs. I strongly suggest have a girl’s night once a month, or you and your spouse having a night out. It is so healthy to take a break from reality and relax your mind. Canceling plans can fall into the category of no motivation. A happy mom is a healthy mom. Your kids do not need a perfect mother, but they do need a stable one. I can not preach enough how healthy it is for a mother to take a breather. It caused a strain on my marriage when I never wanted to leave my children. So stop feeling guilty for taking time for yourself. Go get your nails done, eat out with friends, go to the mall, and have that drink; you will be amazed at what it will do to your mental health.
Try to overcome the mom burnout. Talk to friends, your spouse, or even parents. Staying in a burnout will only hurt you and the people around you. As a mom, we have to ask for help. I am very independent, so asking is tough for me. Take a break for 5 minutes and walk away from any stress and count to 10. You can not let the stress of being a parent consume you. Stop looking for perfection, at being a mom, because you are going to keep getting disappointed. Your children love you for you, and believe me you are perfect to them.
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